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Tuesday, August 31, 2010

NFL Pro Bowl-er Polamalu insures hair for $1M

Yep, Pittsburg Steelers safety Troy Polamalu had his almost-3-foot hair insured by Head and Shoulders, whose shampoo he endorses, for the whopping sum of a million dollars. Other things that could have been his for one million American dollars include a Picasso painting, about 17% of Steve Austin, some green brooch, and the love of whomever the Barenaked Ladies are singing about.

...and 100,000,000 thoughts.

According to Polamalu, his locks were last trimmed in 2000, back when a college coach of his told him that he needed them cut. Part of the reason his hair has been growing for the past decade is as a tribute to his Samoan heritage. What other ways could Polamalu honor his people's past?

I think Troy's posing: the Samoan ancestry is an excuse for him to continue his hippie lifestyle. For your benefit, I have rendered a simulation of Polamalu's appearance if he was actually paying tribute to those before him:

-"How come Troy never picks the tora, like, ever? He just stands there, waving his fire stick thing, trying to not light his hair." -"Who's Troy?"

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