EDIT (11:15) - I just finished playing around with the layout of the site, and made a few additions and changes. From top to bottom (on the right of the screen): I added a Subscribe To This Blog box, which allows you to keep up with my blog with Google Reader (which I profiled as part of an article I wrote when I was a part of my high school newspaper) or any other RSS reader. I added RSS feeds from ESPN and Rolling Stone, so you can catch up on the latest news from the worlds of sports and music (sorry, but I couldn't figure out how to make those links automatically open in a new window, so you're gonna have to right-click to do that). I also moved the Page Views box up, just to make it easier for me to see. That's about it, enjoy.
Billy Mays, major league baseball players, pedophiles, Al Borland, foreigners, the creep who lives three houses over from you, Grizzly Adams, the NHL playoffs, homeless people, folk singers: all hairy things you'd think of before the idea of what I'm about to show you passes through your thinkabellum.
Let's not forget Beard Fish.
These are also things that give me extreme beard envy. Bare-faced people like me, worry not, our day will come. Until then, if the embarrassment of bald cheeks is too much to bear, I would be delighted to introduce you to BeardHead.
The near-penultimate form of badassery, trumped only by an actual beard of this magnitude.
Owning a BeardHead will allow you to be warm and look like a straight up baller while doing masculine activities like snowboarding, watching baseball, bonding with your ladyfriend, protesting, and running.
...and fighting over who has better tattoos.
You can grab a BeardHead of your very own for $24.99 right now (they're on sale, list price is $32.99) from their website. They are available in the testosterony colors of viking, lumberjack, grandpa, pirate, and for the women who missed out on the Y chromosome, bunny (yellow, brown, grey, black, and pink). If you grow tired of the default mustache option, you can buy an alternate for five bucks, in the styles of fu manchu, Mario and walrus.
Like it in Facebook, and prove your dormant facial follicles wrong and get your own beard today.